What to do if You are Thinking About a Divorce
Many professionals will tell you that divorce is treacherous and unfamiliar territory. They tell you that you must do everything possible to get ahead, and they offer instructions for handling your divorce like a business decision — accounting for finances and putting yourself in a good position for child custody before filing any paperwork. These professionals make it sound like divorce is a strategic war against your soon-to-be ex.
But the truth is far more complex than that. The truth is that there is no one answer. There is no strategy that is right for everyone. Every marriage is unique, and every divorce is unique too. At our law firm, we work with individuals at the very beginning stages of divorce planning. Call our office today at (914) 738-7765 to schedule your consultation with a New York City or Westchester divorce attorney. Your unique situation will be considered throughout every step of the process.
Marriage is not just a business, and divorce is not just a business decision. Marriage is a complicated entanglement of many different types of relationships: legal, financial and emotional. Like a twisted ball of yarn, it is impossible to pull on one string without affecting the others. Pulling on your finances can affect your emotions and vice versa. Pulling on your legal strategy can affect everything.
TALK WITH SOMEONE YOU CAN CONFIDE IN
If you are thinking about divorce, it is likely that there are significant problems in your marriage. It is important to consider these problems and whether divorce is the best way to address them. Talking things through with a trusted adviser can help, and it is important to pick someone you can confide in and who will give you honest feedback. You can always schedule a confidential consultation with a lawyer, even if you are not sure whether you will file. Your divorce lawyer can answer your questions.
At our New York City and Westchester law offices, our divorce attorneys often talk with people who are not sure whether they will file for divorce. They talk with us about their options, including choosing the right divorce process. Sometimes, we don’t see them again. Other times, they return to us a year or two later when they are finally ready to file.
ASSESS HOW YOUR SPOUSE WILL REACT
Consider how your spouse will react when you tell him or her that you would like a divorce. In some marriages, people worry that the other party will not fight fairly. In those cases, it is critical to evaluate your situation and to protect yourself if necessary. You should discuss those actions with your divorce lawyer. In most marriages, spouses want to do what is fair and move forward with their lives. In those marriages, spouses can best prepare by gathering information.
BUILD A SUPPORT NETWORK
No matter what, your divorce will impact your life. At times, you may feel empowered to move forward with your life. You may also have low times during which you feel alone. You may doubt yourself. Building a support network can help; start building relationships with people you can count on to be there for you. Even before filing for divorce, talking with a therapist can be a good idea. So can participating in new, positive activities.
Many spouses leave many financial or parenting decisions to their partners. If you are considering divorce, it is important that you begin to understand the complete picture. Gather information about your family’s assets, liabilities and expenses. Think about your children’s daily and future needs.
ENVISION THE FUTURE
What have the last few years of your marriage been like? In the future, how will things be different? What are your hopes? If you envision your future, you can begin to create a clear vision of what things will be like. This vision can empower you to make smart decisions about the way you approach your divorce. Driven by a clear idea of what the future could be like, you can begin to choose the right divorce process and make other important considerations.
Contact our law office in New York City and New Rochelle, New York, by calling (914) 738-7765 for a confidential consultation about your divorce or other family law matters. We also have Manhattan offices that serve clients in New York City.