LIFE AFTER DIVORCE – IT’S NOT SO SCARY

People’s stories are so incredible.

Their lives are overflowing with drama, with poignant moments, with scary and wonderful things, with astonishing stories…who needs the movies when life is so interesting already?

Still, a dramatic plotline is not typically something most people look for in their own lives, especially if it’s about divorce.

Divorce shouldn’t hijack your life. It should not define you.

When people consider getting a divorce they almost always think that their entire lives are about to be taken over by it. They worry that life will never be the same and that the change will be awful. That doesn’t have to be true.

Divorce should fit into the context of your life, it shouldn’t be the main focus. There are ways to make getting divorced only a part of your life. Through the support of professionals including lawyers, mediators, mental health practitioners, divorce coaches, and financial neutrals, help is available to navigate through various decisions as you go. You can choose not to make divorce your entire life, rather than the other way around. You can choose to define your life post divorce.

If you treat divorce as a disaster, and your life completely stops because of it, your life becomes your divorce. When it’s finally over – and it will be over – all of the sudden you’ll be asking yourself, “Who the heck am I? I’m the person getting divorced; that’s who I’ve been for so long. Now I have to figure out who I am again. Who am I going to be?”

This is another opportunity to take advantage of professional help. I like to compare it to a person breaking a bone or having major surgery. If the person does not get physical therapy and they heal incorrectly, they will be handicapped to some degree as a result. The same principle is at work in situations of emotional trauma.

The good news is that going on with your life is possible today, even you feel like it has already been hijacked. You have the ability to change your life from a drama into your own adventure.