Fostering Harmony Between Your Children and Your New Partner

Adapting to life after a divorce can be challenging to say the least.  Parents and children are often confronted with moving into new homes and getting used to new visitation schedules.  Another challenge divorced families may encounter is adjusting to parents having new romantic relationships.  Children may struggle with this new dynamic and require support.   Here are some positive steps you can take towards fostering harmony between your children and your new partner:

Take is Slowly

If at all possible, divorced parents should ease their children into getting to know their new partner slowly.  It is important to remember, adjusting to mom or dad having a new romantic interest may leave children feeling conflicted about being disloyal to the other parent and insecure about what this new person’s presence may mean in their lives.  By taking small steps in integrating the new partner into the children’s lives, you can help them have the time they need to adjust to this new relationship.  That additional time, in turn, can create stronger bonds with the new partner.

Arrange for Quality Time

As you begin to spend time with the children and your partner, try to make the time you spend together be interactive and about getting to know one another.  It will also help if you begin with an activity that the children will be interested in.  Further, a family game night or activity as opposed something passive may help the children learn how to talk to the new partner and help them get to know each other.  It will be important that you as the parent remember to spend quality time with the children on your own.  This may help alleviate any feelings that the new partner is taking you away from the children.

Listen and Talk

In many cases, the introduction of a new partner will bring forth a host of emotions in children.  This is especially true for older children who have strong memories of your life with the other parent.  It will be important for you to keep an open dialogue with the children about their feelings.  , It may be that your child will benefit from talking with a trained counselor regarding the addition of a new person to their life as well as other feelings about the divorce.  By talking with your child, you can help determine if counseling may be something which could help.

Be Patient and Realistic

Adding a new person to your child’s life is a big adjustment for them.  Depending on the circumstances of your divorce, your child may require more time to get used to having a new adult be part of the picture.   Be realistic about your expectations regarding how quickly your child will adjust and how close they will be to your new partner.   You will do a great deal in helping them on their way to adjusting and accepting the changes to their family by being patient with your child and not placing extreme pressure on them,

We understand the challenges families may encounter following a divorce and can help provide guidance and resources for families entering into their new dynamic.  Visit our website at and click on the “Contact Us” button and fill out the online form today. You also can also contact us at or by phone at 1-914-738-7765

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