Thriving After Divorce: the Case for It
It can be easy to think of divorce as an “end”. We even use the terms “ended their marriage” or that a couple’s marriage “ends in divorce”. In common parlance, divorce is just so final. But that’s not necessarily a helpful—or accurate—way to look at it.
In fact, what if divorce were considered a beginning? What if you can move on and find happiness?
Finding Happiness After Divorce
According to Psychology Today, women who reported unhappiness in marriage—“poor marriages”—tended to do much better after divorce and enjoyed greater satisfaction with their lives. While one should expect that divorce naturally provokes feelings of loss and sadness, and the road is not guaranteed to always be easy, it’s important to know that the road does lead out of a bad situation. And that’s always good. While it may be difficult to see during the lead-up to a divorce, both parties can go on to find happiness after divorce.
This is even true for the children, which should ease the minds of many people considering divorce rates of nearly half of all marriages in America. A recent Scientific American article cited studies that found, “Divorce affects most children in the short run, but research suggests that kids recover rapidly after the initial blow.” The vast majority of kids exhibit the much-lauded trait of resilience and make peace with their parents’ split over time.
Divorce Doesn’t Make You Happy
This isn’t a contradiction, but rather the key to the puzzle. In many ways, divorce itself is neither bad nor good. It’s the way one chooses to cope with the rupture that determines your wellbeing after divorce. If a divorce puts an end to constant fighting and conflict, especially with children involved, then divorce tends to bring more peace. Ending high-conflict marriages, thus, can lead to increased happiness. Ultimately, finding happiness is all about the attitude.
The Thrill of Starting Again
While there can be many lingering bad feelings as you begin to move on from your marriage, with the right approach to the separation, you may be on the brink of a new relationship—with your ex! I’m not talking about a romantic relationship. Rather, a respectful relationship that favors compromise over winning and peace over impassioned arguments. This will give you the emotional space you need to find a romantic partner who understands and satisfies you. It can also lead to greater happiness down the road.
Alternative Approaches That Can Help You Find Happiness After Your Marriage
Our Westchester lawyers work to find alternative divorce methods that can help you avoid a contentious divorce. If you’re considering divorce but would like to try an approach that can help you find happiness after divorce, call my team to schedule a confidential consultation.