The Healing the Heart Protocol

I recently sat down with Michael Schiesser and Neelama Eyres, Co-authors of Divorced with Love, and co-founders of Inner Journey Institute. They write from the unique perspective of a couple that had worked together, had been married, divorced, and then continued to work together.

Together, they have developed, among other resources, a program for “transforming the pain of a breakup or divorce into a profound opportunity for a new life”. This five-step program, called “The Healing the Heart Protocol” takes people through the emotional stages of breaking up.

Step 1: The Fire Phase—Free your Heart

This is a case of easier said than done. Freeing your hearth means letting go of the emotional upset and baggage that the end of a relationship brings with it. That means not dwelling on the things that were said in a big fight. It means not going down the path of revenge or making your ex regret what they’ve lost. It truly means moving on. But since most people haven’t learned how to deal with and process these negative emotions, they stay inside us and emerge in outbursts including obsessing, exploding and succumbing to feelings of depression.

Successfully completing step one leads to, among other things, access to clarity and joy, improved sleep, greater aliveness and the freedom to grieve and move on with our lives.

Step 2: The Metal Phase—Reclaim your Clarity

In this step, you really start moving forward. Try to see the breakup as an opportunity, or “a doorway to profound healing and transformation”. Completing this phase allows you to be liberated from your unconscious beliefs and bad habits, giving you the self-awareness you need to free yourself from a pattern of heartbreak.

Step 3: The Earth Phase—Open to Love

In this phase, it’s time for a holistic examination of the relationship. Here’s where you do the hard work of trying to see where you contributed to the trajectory—or, as Neelama and Michael call it, the “dance”—of the relationship. This can be a difficult step to take, but it’s essential to your understanding of what happened, and of yourself.

Here, you dig into deep compassion for others and for yourself. The benefits are enormous: better understanding of yourself and a heart open to new love and inner peace.

Step 4: The Water Phase—Complete the Past & Discover Your Sacred Relationship

Water purifies the whole process. That is, it cleanses us, readying us for new love. This is achieved through a deep study of endings and an exploration of how we can consciously complete the past and learn what it means to be “sourced from within”.

This process results in greater self-love and compassion, a greater appreciation of the gifts of being single, access to your own unique spiritual source and the ability to open yourself and ready yourself for new love.

Step 5: The Wood Phase—Create Your New Life

In the fifth and final stage, you “birth your new life”. Armed with a new understanding of yourself, you are ready—and energized—to start again.

This stage invites you to connect with your sense of purpose to create a new life. You are ready to love, to work and to seek purpose every day.

It may seem like a long road if you’re just starting to consider divorce. But with resources like these, you can take a holistic, step-by-step approach that is less overwhelming.

If you’re considering divorce but would like to try an approach that might mean a brighter future, call my team to schedule a confidential consultation.

Contact Us

Breaking the News - Guide to Asking for a Divorce