Taking the Leap: Dates after Divorce

How to Know When You’re Ready to Date Post-Divorce

Worrying about what to wear. Checking your hair for the 50th time. Wishing you’d invested in that teeth whitener. In the hours before a date, you can be flooded with doubt and insecurity.

And it’s understandably more challenging after divorce.

There are a lot of theories about when to tell if you’re ready to start dating again after divorce. Before judging whether you’re ready to jump in, there are some important considerations:

Be Patient with Yourself

Divorce isn’t over when you sign the paper—at least not emotionally. If you’re still close to tears when discussing the split, actively Googling your ex, living with the relationship and your ex-spouse very much in the front of your mind, you may not be ready. Waiting one year isn’t a bad rule of thumb.

Get Help from an Expert

Speak to a therapist, counselor or even minister to help make peace with the past and make a sound plan for the future.

Work Toward Forgiveness

This can be incredibly tough, but what forgiveness does is free you up to let someone new into your life. Holding a grudge—no matter how justified—can be very off-putting to potential partners. No one wants to start a new relationship with someone who is angry, doesn’t trust easily or gets suspicious at the drop of a hat.

But When You’re Ready, You’re Ready

This week I spoke with Alyssa Dineen, founder of Style My Profile, a personal stylist service for divorcees. She works with them to feel better about how they look and then build a great online dating profile to help them confidently get back out into the dating world. This week I’ll be taking a look at her experience, perspective and advice.

If you’re considering divorce but would like to try an approach that might mean a brighter future, call my team to schedule a confidential consultation.

Practice Makes Perfect

Dineen says that in order to really see a transformation, you have to start small, without too many expectations. She suggests you treat re-entering the dating world like a part time job. It takes time.

Knowing When You’re Ready

The answer to the “am I ready” question varies from person to person. And much of it depends on how long you’ve been with your partner and how comfortable you are with today’s style of dating with online apps.

But practice makes perfect. And getting comfortable with dating may take some time, but it will be time invested in your future.

If you’re considering divorce but would like to try an approach that might mean a brighter future, call my team to schedule a confidential consultation.