Splitopia: Writing Exercises for Thriving After Divorce

When I spoke with Wendy Paris, author of Splitopia: Dispatches from Today’s Good Divorce and How to Part Well, she shared with me some smart hands-on exercises for thriving after divorce.

The key principle is to be kind to yourself. That means bolstering the positive and girding yourself with reminders of happiness and strength. Being kind to yourself also means allowing yourself to explore your emotions freely, process them, and move forward. It also means finding new tools to help get through a challenging time.

Splitopia.com features hands-on exercises and activities to help you through the process. I’ve highlighted some powerful writing exercises to cope with divorce here.

Writing as a Coping Tool for Divorce

Writing is a powerful tool for helping you get through emotionally challenging times such as divorce. Simple “free writing”, or writing without judgment or stopping, can be a great way to tap into feelings and thoughts that you may not access when talking to a lawyer or a friend or even a therapist.

Writing Exercises to Try

Splitopia’s article “Writing Your Way Through Divorce” gives readers simple instructions for how to jump right in:

  • Consider your journal a “therapy assistant”: even if you already have a therapist, think of your journal as your helper between sessions – a place to put your feelings.
  • Answer the hard questions on the page: writing can help you go more deeply into your emotions. Ask yourself specific questions like “have I seen this or felt this before in my life?” “What got me into this pattern?” “Are there ways in which I’m stuck in old patterns that I can shift?” and “How does this situation fit into my larger life pattern?” Answering questions on the page are different than answering them in your mind. It can help us see ourselves more clearly.
  • Use writing to reframe your challenge as a heroic struggle leading to triumph. Narrative is a powerful thing. And it’s very easy during a divorce to focus on the negative and create a negative narrative.

Putting pen to paper and writing to cope with divorce is immensely powerful. Write to get your thoughts out, face hard questions with honesty, then craft a narrative to help make sense of what has happened. Check out Splitopia.com for more ideas.

Learn More About the Divorce Process

Divorce does not have to be the traditional process most people consider. Together with coping methods such as writing exercises, alternative methods of divorce can help you leave your marriage feeling more confident about the future. Call our Westchester lawyers to learn more.

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