Self-Empowering Habits That Stick
The best way to grow self-empowerment, like anything, is to have it happen automatically, without having to think about it. Think of it like the best investment accounts—growing without you having to worry about it.
So how can you create self-empowering habits to cope with divorce?
The Science Behind Creating Habits
A recent Forbes article focused on the science behind acquiring and keeping new habits. It states that habit acquisition fails only because “you don’t understand how habits are structured” or “you are attempting to do too much too soon and setting yourself up for failure”. The structure of habits, it explains, is trigger-action-reward. And if we ignore the reward part, then we fail at creating the habit. Being unrealistic about goals is an easy trap for people to fall into, as well. Our culture loves the story of “overnight success” and often ignores the hours of study, practice, and discipline that create these successes.
Steps to Creating Habits that Can Help You Cope With Divorce
But there are steps we can take toward creating self-empowering habits that stick and can help you cope with divorce.
- Mindfulness—paying attention to your thoughts is the first step in becoming a more aware, more intentional person. From thought awareness, we grow awareness of the words we speak, the environment that nourishes us, the people who support us. Mindfulness is truly the cornerstone of creating an intentional life.
- Compassion—practicing compassion means thinking of others before thinking about yourself. It means getting into their head, trying to understand their point of view. When we shift focus away from ourselves and our own self-interest, we become more understanding, kinder and more satisfied with our own lives.
- Forgiveness—this one’s all about you. It may not seem like it, but forgiveness is about setting yourself free. When we hold onto resentment, jealousy, anger, frustration, we are keeping the person who caused those feelings present in our lives. Forgiveness sets you free. And allows you to move forward with your own life, which makes it one of the best habits to cope with divorce.
- Show Gratitude/Complain Less—count your blessings. Often. Pay attention to the positives that we take for granted every day: the sunset, the smell of flowers, the crackle of a fire, the taste of warm tea. Paying attention to those little positives—and being grateful for them—can change your orientation to a positive position. Same goes for complaining. When we complain a lot, we stay in a negative mindset. Try going for a “complaint-free” day.
- Pass it On—make someone else’s day a little easier. Hold the door for someone. Pay for their coffee. Smile. Give a (free!) compliment. These little gestures of kindness can have a snowball effect and can leave you, again, focused outside yourself, and actively creating good in the world.
Legal Methods to Make the Divorce Process Easier to Cope With
Key to all these self-empowering habits is that they leave you feeling good which can make coping with divorce easier. And that means that they’ll stick. It’s truly a win-win situation.
A Westchester attorney could explain legal methods such as alternative dispute resolution that can make the divorce process easier. Collaborating throughout the divorce process while forming self-empowering habits can leave you prepared to enter the next phase of your life.