Getting Out There! A Post-Divorce Body & Wardrobe
Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, “who is that?” It’s easy after kids, through years of a career and all the stress of a rocky or unsatisfying marriage to feel like you don’t recognize yourself. And even without the turmoil, just the simple passage of time does a number on us.
How We Change
Aging literally changes our body shape, as our muscles atrophy and our body fat increases. We even get shorter, losing almost half an inch for every decade after 40. For women, pregnancy changes bodies in dramatic ways. Flattened arches, stretch marks and extra weight are just some of the many physical changes women experience during and after pregnancy. The changes can be permanent and leave you with a body you don’t feel comfortable in after childbirth.
There are many reasons to get out there and go shopping for a new wardrobe post-divorce. Maybe you’ve lost a lot of weight. Maybe you’ve gotten into the best shape of your life. Or maybe you don’t see yourself the way you used to. Some people who go through divorce report a “return to themselves”. That means they find old interests and passions, remember activities they used to love. When you reconnect with that part of yourself, it’s no surprise that your wardrobe changes, too.
This week I spoke with Alyssa Dineen, founder of Style My Profile, a personal stylist service for divorcees. She works with them to feel better about how they look and then build a great online dating profile to help them confidently get back out into the dating world. This week I’ll be taking a look at her experience, perspective and advice.
Surprise Clientele: Women
In working with clients, she was surprised to find that she had a clientele that was heavily female. “We started it thinking it would be mostly men because a lot of men—maybe their wives shopped for them for 20 years,” Dineen says, “they definitely need a revamp. We thought it was going to be mostly men and then it’s been mostly women.” Asked what accounts for the gender difference, she says it’s because women are comfortable asking for help. Men, not so much. Dineen’s service works with people going through or after divorce to help them re-connect with their identity. And that likely means a new wardrobe.
And the shopping is just the tip of the iceberg. Just as our bodies change, meaning we need to look at different styles and cuts that flatter us and communicate to the world just who we are now, the way we present ourselves also changes. Online dating profiles, for example, may be different or completely new to the freshly divorced. We’ll tackle those issues next.
If you’re considering divorce but would like to try an approach that might mean a brighter future, call my team to schedule a confidential consultation.