Post-Divorce Online Dating

Getting Out There! Misconceptions about Online Dating

Online dating is no longer something out of the ordinary. Nearly 70% of US internet users know about Match.com. Online dating has exploded in the young population, with usage increasing 10% since 2013.  It isn’t a last resort. It’s used by daters of all ages and it’s a common form of dating for singles.

If you’ve been out of the dating world for a while—as most people who are divorcing have been—then you may fall victim to your imagination when it comes to getting out there in online dating. You may think that everyone else knows what they’re doing. But the truth is, it’s a tricky game for everyone. And it only exposure and experience can help make it easier.

This week I spoke with Alyssa Dineen, founder of Style My Profile, a personal stylist service for divorcees. She works with them to feel better about how they look and then build a great online dating profile to help them confidently get back out into the dating world. This week I’ll be taking a look at her experience, perspective and advice.

She points out that online dating can be challenging for women. They tend to undersell themselves, and this just doesn’t work online.

Common Misconceptions

According to Psychology Today, some misconceptions about online dating persist despite its popularity.

  1. Everyone is Lying

The truth is, there is a little bit of dishonesty in online dating. But it isn’t always serious. That is, there may be frequent exaggeration but no different from meeting someone in person. Real outright lies about identity or accomplishments or relationship status are rare.

  1. Online Dating is for the Desperate

This is just a downright dated misconception. There’s no need for a cover story anymore. People from all walks of life, all ages and all ethinicities find their partners online.

  1. Online Relationships are Doomed

This is only true if you believe that all relationships are doomed. Just because online dating hasn’t been around long enough for you to say that it’s how your grandparents met, doesn’t mean it’s a bad way to meet. In fact, a report commissioned by eHarmony found that couples who met online were actually less likely to divorce that couples who met offline.

  1. Match-making Algorithms are Better than Searching on Your Own.

The extensive questionnaires you fill out of some sites actually have a sensible purpose. It turns out, the algorithms yield better results that trying to find a match without them.

Feeling Vulnerable

According to Dineen, the truth is that people who have been married and are re-entering the dating world feel vulnerable. That’s why they turn to a service like hers to make sure their profile reflects them and allows them to put their best foot forward. And what she has seen from helping customer after customer is something that should make us all feel better—that they are relieved when they understand that they’re not the only person going through this experience.

If you’re considering divorce but would like to try an approach that might mean a brighter future, call my team to schedule a confidential consultation.