Alyssa Dineen: Self-Esteem and Dating Post-Divorce
Divorce permeates every part of our lives, from where we live to how often we see our children. We take a financial hit—women often much more severely than men—that can take years to overcome. It’s no surprise that divorce sends shockwaves through our sense of ourselves and our self-esteem, that’s why many decide to get a post-divorce make-over.
But there’s no question there are obstacles to getting our personal care lives back on track.
Guilt of Taking Care of Ourselves
The term “self-care” has received a lot of attention in recent years. We’re finally starting to understand, in real health terms, how important attention to things like our own mindfulness, exercise and sleep is in our day-to-day lives. And this is especially true after divorce.
Lack of Energy for One Last Thing
Divorce can be exhausting. Fatigue is a natural side effect of depression, something that’s very common in people going through divorce. You may also be dealing with the side effects of long-term discontent. You may have been experiencing years of conflict, tension and stress. This can create a steep drop-off as you change course. It can leave you completely exhausted. The thought of creating a “new you” may sound downright tiring.
But it can also be invigorating. Turning the page can energize you and catapult you into a new, refreshed identity.
This week I spoke with an expert in just that kind of rebirth post-divorce.
Alyssa Dineen is the founder of Style My Profile, a personal stylist service for divorcees. She works with them to feel better about how they look and then build a great online dating profile to help them confidently get back out into the dating world. This week I’ll be taking a look at her experience, perspective and advice.
A Passion to Help
What drives Dineen is the passion to help clients figure out what they want to convey to people through what they wear. She starts by crafting a biography that describes her clients in compelling ways to help catch people’s eyes, not just with your photo, but with your story, your words.
Dineen says she comes across the same mistakes over and over:
- Buying the Same Thing Over and Over: knowing that an outfit works for you can get you stuck in a rut.
- Vagueness is the Enemy of Invention: speaking or thinking about ourselves in generalities—“I’m active”, for example—may be hard to translate into an outfit that communicates with people. Getting specific in your own mind and expression—you’re a hiker or a dancer—can help shape a look.
- Bad Quality Photos: just like vague descriptions, vague photos can not only be misleading, they can get lost in the shuffle and fail to make the impression they need to.
The point Dineen makes in all her work is that divorce can actually be an opportunity. It can be exactly the road back to connection, strength, passion and, yes, physical appearance that you’ve been craving.
What’s incredibly powerful in this process is that it allows you to creatively move forward and imagine yourself the way you’d like to be. So while it may sound small—choosing clothes or outfits—the result is truly empowering.
You may also want to read: Taking the Leap: Dates After Divorce
How Can We Help?
If you’re considering divorce but would like to try an approach that might mean a brighter future, call our team to schedule a confidential consultation.