Articles

Things to Avoid During Divorce

Children, Children in Divorce, Divorce, Divorce with children, Preparing for divorce Going from being a married couple to being adversaries can be extremely difficult and emotionally draining.  What can make matters worse is that this very personal experience will be subject to review in an impersonal legal setting.  Fortunately, there are some specific things to avoid during divorce which can help…

The Long-Distance Divorce

Children in Divorce, Divorce, Divorce with children, Preparing for divorce These days it is increasingly common for couples to decide to live separately without starting the divorce process.  Over time, their circumstances may change, and they may decide it is time to start the divorce.  In some cases, the divorcing couple may have moved to different states during their separation…

Legal Separation: Is it the Right Option for You?

Divorce, Preparing for divorce When you think of terms which relate to divorce, sometimes the phrase "legal separation" comes to mind.  While many people may understand that a legal separation means they will no longer be with their partner, there can be confusion as to what assuming this status will mean. For New York…

Divorce and Social Security Benefits

Divorce, Divorce mediation, Preparing for divorce Divorce is never easy no matter what age a person may be.  It is often a lengthy and challenging process which requires the divorcing couple to negotiate the division of their property and make choices which will affect their financial future for many years to come.  For older individuals, one…

The Law: Does It Add to or Take Away from Divorce Negotiations?

Divorce mediation, Preparing for divorce What is the role of the law in divorce negotiations? It’s actually a huge question and worthy of consideration, not only by professionals who work with separating and divorcing families but by those families themselves. There is often a tension between a lawyer’s view of the right outcome as informed by…

The Value of Neutral Financial Professionals

Preparing for divorce It’s never just about the money.” That is a common phrase amongst professionals who work with people in conflict. Money is certainly a critical piece of many, if not most, negotiations of any kind and certainly this is true in divorces. Of course, there are situations where it’s obvious to…

Consulting or Review Attorneys in Mediation – Part 1

Divorce, Divorce mediation, Preparing for divorce {6:00 minutes to read} It’s a really good idea for a divorcing couple in mediation to have a consulting or review attorney to act as a matrimonial medium.  What is the role of attorneys in a mediation? Sometimes parties believe that lawyers are a threat to the mediation process itself.…

How a collaborative divorce can save couples money

Preparing for divorce On behalf of Katherine Miller Non-adversarial approach can help avoid costly litigation Although collaborative divorce has been around for a long time, it is only in the past few years that it has become an increasingly attractive option for divorcing couples. Many couples understandably want to avoid the costly and…

The Best Course of Action for High Conflict Couples

Preparing for divorce Recently, I had an interview with Bill Eddy on my radio show Dialogue on Divorce. Bill is a lawyer, therapist, mediator and a president of the High-Conflict Institute based in San Diego, California.  As a lawyer, he is a certified Family Law specialist in California where he has represented clients…

A New Marriage Contract on Dignity

Preparing for divorce Recently, I had an interview with Donna Hicks on my radio show Dialogue on Divorce. We discussed the importance of giving your partner the benefit of the doubt as a means to restore dignity to your relationship. Some of the elements of dignity are wanting to have your identity accepted,…

The Vicious Cycle of Vulnerability

Preparing for divorce Recently, I had an interview with Donna Hicks on my radio show Dialogue on Divorce. We discussed the importance of giving your partner the benefit of the doubt as a means to restore dignity to your relationship. However, the impulse to “get even” for a previous slight becomes something of…

Dignity in Divorce

Preparing for divorce Recently, I had an interview with Donna Hicks on my radio show Dialogue on Divorce. Donna is a dignity expert who is the author of a terrific book, Dignity: The Essential Role it Plays in Resolving Conflict, which was published in 2011 by Yale University Press.  She's the founder the…

What it Takes to Divorce

Preparing for divorce I recently conducted a radio interview (linked at the bottom of the post) with Janis Abrahms Spring, a board-certified clinical psychologist and a nationally acclaimed expert on issues of trust, intimacy and forgiveness. Janis and I discussed the dynamics between couples that lead to divorce or reconciliation, as well as…

Picking Your Lawyer and Picking Who You Want To Be in Divorce

Preparing for divorce My best advice from years in the courtroom--as well as years in Collaborative and Mediation conference rooms--is that people should work with someone with whom they feel comfortable. If you hire someone who you think is going to be “tough enough” to handle your ex, then that tough person is…

Thinking About Divorce? Some Questions to Ask Yourself First

Preparing for divorce If you are facing or considering divorce, you’re likely contending with powerful emotions that flicker in intensity. One minute you might feel furious. The next minute, you might feel depressed. You might then go a few hours or days feeling neutral or numb (or relieved, angry, and then confused). It’s…

Cultivating Emotional Intelligence: Not Me vs. You but Me and You

Preparing for divorce Intense emotional conflict often fuels the problems that lead to divorce, and divorce itself challenges even the most emotionally even-keeled people because it touches the most sensitive areas of their lives. Yet trying to push emotions aside and remain strictly logical is not the answer. Emotions, surprisingly, can be useful…

The Groundwork of Collaborative Divorce: Your “Participation Agreement” Guide

Preparing for divorce If you and your spouse agree to work through your divorce using the collaborative framework, one of the first things you will do is sign a Participation Agreement. This document allows you to go “all in” on negotiating the terms of your divorce by indicating—with your signature, as well as…

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