[2:15 minutes to read} Should you mediate your divorce?
People often wonder whether or not they should try to mediate their divorce. There are a few things that you need to be able to do in order to mediate your divorce and have it be a positive experience.
You have to be willing to:
•Speak for yourself—you at least have the desire to be able to speak about what’s most important to you. Oftentimes people feel unheard in their marriage. It can feel as if there is no room for your voice. The crucial element, though, is to want to speak and be heard and to find a mediator who can help make space in the room for two voices.
Speaking for yourself requires doing the work to know what is most important to you and to work toward understanding why. The best outcomes will result if both parties are willing to take the time and do the work of knowing themselves better before they come in and try to hear the other person.
•Work together to find a resolution. You will need to be willing to engage with each other and take responsibility for the process. You have to be amenable to work toward a resolution that works for both of you, not just for yourself. Mediation presents an opportunity to work through the conflict together, not to impose your own view on the other person without any consideration of what’s important to them.
•Listen in a different way. Mediation invites people to hear each other in a different way than they have in the past. The mediator can help open lines of communication that have been shut down and through that movement, new possibilities can be found.
•Trust the mediation process. Some people might read this article and think, “That’s too hard. I can’t do that.” And yes, it is hard but you won’t be doing it in a vacuum; you will have the help of the mediator. Is it worth it to try?
If you want to mediate, but have questions or need assistance with the components mentioned above, contact me today.